Tag Archive: mind control


Well, I know that I have been away from here for quite  a while.  I just was not too clear on what else I might have to say.  Well, now I have something to say, so here it is.

I have to think that Montauk is the gift that keeps on giving.  (That was a bit of snark, btw)

Just the other night when I was trying to get back to sleep, in those wee hours, I was thinking about something.  What it was I couldn’t tell you because when I was thinking those thoughts, they were erased mid thought despite my efforts to hang onto them.  It happened a couple of times.  I could swear that memories were trying to jog loose and be free in my conscious awareness.  There was something inside (or outside or both) of me that wouldn’t allow it.  I got the sense of a program of sorts that certain kinds of thoughts and memories will be deleted upon surfacing.  What I am left with is frustration.  And I have been working on clearing these programs and such.  No matter how much work I do on this, there are still deeper into the rabbit hole I go. Perhaps my error is that even though I think there is a bottom to this, there is no bottom to this.  And these things come to the surface at the most inopportune moments, usually in the restless wee hours of the night.

There was also another troubling incident that I had a while back.

A few months back, I was driving home from a friend’s house in Ocala, Fl.  The route I was taking goes through the Ocala National Forest.  I was consciously and deliberately looking for the sign that had the name of it on it.  Not only did I not see the sign, I missed the whole half hour or so of forest.  I just remember the parts of the road before it and after it.  And I thought that I was over any missing time episodes.  This one was major and I have no memory of what transpired in that lost half hour.

So, this all tells me that I still have some work to do.

 

 

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Multiple Realities Post Card

This symposium will feature some of the original players (Preston Nichols and Duncan Cameron) in the Montauk saga. So, if you are in the area at this time and want to see, hear, and meet them go to this. Funny thing, Duncan told me that he was finished with all things Montauk. He must’ve been given an offer he couldn’t refuse.

At the Meta Center, 214 West 29th street, 16th floor NYC , 10am-5pm,
Supersoldiers, Time Travel, Hybrids, Nanotechnology, Monarch Programming, Military Abductions, Exopolitics, Pleidian Emissaries, Cosmic Shamans, Galactic Awareness, Human Evolution, Sound & Light Technologies, Alien Interaction, And More!

Speakers: Duncan Cameron (Montauk Project) Dan Macbolen (ex-military assassin – first public appearance) Preston Nichols (Montauk Project) James Rink (Supersoldier) lso with Stephen Popiotek and Suzy Meszoly.

Tickets: $80 for Early Birds purchasing by Feb 10, 2014 $125 after Feb 10th:
http://www.lovenowmovement.org/events/multiple-realities-symposium-021613/

I just had to post this since this just creeps me out…

Start with some smart dust.  Add a little WiFi.  What could possibly go wrong?

brain waves

brain waves

I have learned about the application of what is called “smart dust” which is composed of nano sized metallic objects.

Here is something about that here: http://onecellonelight.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/from-the-desk-of-dr-hildy-heavy-metals-nano/

This takes that to a whole new disturbing and sinister level where it applies to control via internet.  Only here they call it “neural dust”.

http://tinyurl.com/p2xx544

Now for the CE5 stage of my life. Back in early 1992, I joined a UFO group in NYC. Members of this group went to Brewster,NY at a special location that had one of those Hudson Valley stone chambers on a regular basis. Shortly after I joined the group, I went along with them. In face, I used to pick some of them up at the nearest train station. These trips were all overnight starting just before dusk and continuing until after dawn. It was not unlike going down the proverbial rabbit hole. I will relate some of these experiences.  On several of these outings, we would see objects flying in the sky, hear sounds of bipedal footsteps on the road which had no seen source (we would shine our flashlights in the direction of the sounds), sounds of something metallic moving, see figures darting a ways away, see red orbs in the trees, see fog on the road when the temperature was in the 20s, etc.

Magnetic Mine Rd.

This is where we went in Brewster

One of those evenings, we started out in Pine Bush,NY to check out the activity there. We did a sky watch that evening. we really didn’t see much of anything in the sky except for one mysterious light that flew towards Brewster. So, off to Brewster,NY we drove. Our trek ended back at Lower Magnetic Mine Road once again. We were doing the CE5 protocol. That is using flashlights and turning them 3X on and off for 3 repetitions. Three of us then formed a line walking to a triangle while flashing the lights. Up in the sky we saw sevaral lights flying that were not identifiable. They came in almost in a line. Then they formed a triangle and then back to a line. All the while they were flashing. Now, there is a school of thought that the objects that we saw and interacted with were interactive energy projections of our minds. Perhaps.

On another trip, there were just three of us (Harold, Joseph, and I). We were syncing up with Colin Andrews and company who were in England investigating the crop circles there. There were the usual deer movement sounds and then there was the sound of something larger lurking in the woods. We were alarmed and got into the car as fast as we could. We were speculating that it could be a bear since it sounded so heavy unlike the sounds the deer made. There was some palpable fear among us. Then, I and the others felt an energy/beam go though the car and us. I felt calm and a bit out of it.  Joseph, who was panicking, said he didn’t feel afraid any more.  Harold also confirmed this. What was doing this to us, we didn’t know.

In New York city, our group had a meeting. At this meeting an associate of CSETI gave us a training in CE5 protocols. We did a meditation asking for permission to make contact. I felt a joy in response. That night we went out to our ususal area. We were there till the wee hours with not much happening. Then, around 3 am (a prime time for strange things happening), I and another individual were called by the trainer and Harold, the group founder to the road (we were in the stone chamber that was there at the time). They were pointing to a spot on the hill we were facing and saying that they were seeing an entity there. They even described it. It was female and like a grey, but more etherial. I didn’t see the entity myself. All I saw was a swirling of energy. I thought that at this time I cold see just about anything. To this day, I still don’t know why I didn’t move closer to my friends to see the entity better. I did want to see one up close while I was concious. I also was feeling the joy again. I and another attendee were standing a few feet away on the road.  Harold told us that she (there was a definite feminine energy) wanted us to ask her her name. OK, I thought, sure why not? We both asked what her name was. And, we did get an answer. I know, I kind of “heard” it. We also blurted out something like “Amyar” at the same time, so I guess he “heard” it as well. I also felt what seemed to be an invisible arm and a hand wrap around my waist, as well as the guy standing next to me. It did seem as if there was someone else between us.  Harold then told us that she wanted us to come closer. Upon hearing this, I felt the invisible arm and hand pull me towards the hill and closer to her. I wish I had had the presence of mind to ask more questions. It was as if my mind was not quite working right at the time.

On another outing to the usual area in Brewster, I was driving the car up the road before it divided into Upper and Lower Magnetic Mine Roads. I saw a figure walk briskly across the road. It was mostly see through with a wavy (kind of like heat waves emanating from a the hot metal of a car) outlining it. Startled, I stopped the car and asked if anyone else saw it. Too bad that they didn’t.

One winter day in the early mid 90s, I went there on my own to check out the area in daylight.  I parked on the side of the road where the hill was.  A moment after I got out of my car, I heard a loud sound kind of like “whoooooop” in a ascending pitch come from the hill.  I felt as if I was being greeted by an unseen someone.  Even though it was  weird, I didn’t feel any threat from it.  I walked down the path that was at the end of the hill.  I was looking for the stone chamber that was there.  I kept on walking and didn’t see it.  The path ended at an old wall.  Then, a hawk flew close overhead and it screeched at me.  I got the message to move a little forward and look to my right (I already looked there on the way in).  I did that and there was the stone chamber. It was rumored that it was cloaked holographically at times. Well, that’s what an experiencer that I know told me.

One other oddness that I would like to relate. Sometimes I encounter people who seem to know me but I don’t recognize them. After one of our all nighters in Brewster we all went for breakfast in Bob’s Diner. I was waiting to get into the ladies room. A dark haired woman came out of it. She saw me, smiled, and said “Hello, (my  birth-name)”. Now, at the diner I was being called by my nickname which I like to call it my real name. See the post “How I Got My Name“. Then she just walked by me and that was it. I was quite floored and didn’t know what to make of it.  It may not be UFOs or ETs, but it sure made me feel like someone was watching me.

Well, these are a few of the events that I can recall after all these years of my days with the SPACE group from NYC.

Blackouts Happen(ed)

I’ve been going through various sundry past experiences and attempting to make some readable order out of them.  I will publish short snippets. It’s better for my ADD.

Way back, when I was much younger (I think I was either 12 or 14) when I was extremely ill.  I once had a whole conversation with my mother one night when I was ill. She had woken me up to give me my medicine. I have no memory of this happening.

During my senior year in high school, I was having the occasional blackout.
There was one day in Physics class when the teacher came down real hard on me. I was fuming with anger all day. At the end of that day, I was walking to the locker room. The next thing that I remember is walking out of the locker room. I walked onto the bus and as I sat down, my friend seemed concerned and asked if I was okay. I asked her why she was asking me. She told me that before I boarded the bus, the bus driver was asking where I was since I was a regular on the bus. One of the girls there told her that she saw me at my locker kicking it and screaming. I have no memory of this happening to this day.  I had had other brief blackouts during the previous year in high school there when I lived in Florida for a little while.

In college, I experienced the same thing as well. I would go from point A to Point B and not have any memory of how I got there.
When I was in London when I was 22, I also had an intense experience which included multiple blackouts.  I do know that “I” wasn’t totally inactive when these happen.  Since it is way too personal right now, I will  forgoe the details.  I will only say that I was alternatingly co-conscious with whoever else was sharing this body at the time.  Perhaps when I get the courage I might write about that someday.

This is one of the symptoms of those who are DID/MPD.  A blackout with a purpose as London surely was implies a programmed state, I believe.  Is it still happening?  I really am not sure.

 

 

I was on the TJMorrisET Radio show last night.   Three of us who believe we have discovered that we were/are Montauk Girls had a roundtable discussion on various subjects related  to the Montauk Project.  Later in the show, Fritz Springmeier (a researcher in mind control techniques/deprogramming, and the Illuminati) joined us.  It went on longer than it indicates on the site.

Here is the promo from BlogTalkRadio:

Montauk Girls – Cindy Mueller, Mai (ya) Liebowitz , Theresa Morris are joined by Fritz Springmeier, Author on Illuminati Books on Pentracks.com, Miya has MontaukGirl at wordpress.com/MontaukGirl. Cindy Mueller on Facebook.com. TJ at AssociateGuides.com, Anewnews.com, TJMorrisACO.com

And for those who would like to listen, here is the link:
ACO Mysteries, Montauk Girls, Illuminati, Fritz Springmeier

Entrance sign for Brookhaven National Labs

I promised to post about the incident with the last Montauk boy that I wrote about. So, here it is. I already had gone over this in one of my interviews, but the audio was abominable.

In the Montauk  Project history/legend, Brookhaven National Labs was mentioned as being the first place that experiments were conducted for it.  It was alleged to have been phased out when Camp Hero came online.  I have reason to believe that  this is only partially true.

Here is my memory of the first incident:

I was lying in bed wondering about my involvement with the Montauk Project. A few minutes into my reverie, I experienced what could be termed an abreaction. I was in a lab setting in BNL (Brookhaven National Labs). It was around June/July 1983. There were three lab coated people in front of me. Two were male and one was female. I felt as if I was and wasn’t myself (co-conscious with and alter?). I was explaining the horrific depths to which the project had sunk to. I said something like “Too many children have died in it. It has to be stopped.” I asked if they would help me do that. They eventually agreed to do this. Then, I told them that I had to go back to Montauk since they would soon wonder where I was. A hole opened up in the wall. In this hole was a strange looking tunnel. It looked like it was composed of a violet/blue/grey smokey substance. It definitely didn’t look too substantial. On the other end of the tunnel was a basement. This was the Montauk underground, or the underground of the underground. I stepped into it and was almost instantaneously on the other end.

Now, there was one odd possibly suspect problem with this “memory”. There was a subtitle in it just like a subtitle in a movie. It said something to the effect of “Brookhaven Labs June 1983”. So, this could have been either a relived memory or a memory implant. I have experienced the co-conscious state a few times before. So, that was very much the same as those experiences. It is also possible that there was a small contingent from BNL that was still involved with the project. If this memory was real, then I have my suspicions about how this might have come about. But, without more data, this would only be mere logical speculation.

Now, I know I didn’t explain where the Montauk boy comes in, but bear with me and it will all become clear in a very short time.

Here is the second related incident:

One afternoon, back in the 90’s, I was lying on my front on a table at my chiropractor’s office. I had just received a network* chiropractic treatment and was integrating it. I once again experienced another abreaction. I was in the Montauk underground. In front of me were four people. Three of them were the people who I had recruited in BNL. The other had long blonde hair and was facing away from me and towards them. Since I could not move, I was forced to watch each of them, one at a time, psychically tortured to death. I could almost feel their intense pain and fear as the person in front of them crushed internal organs including the brain. Each bled from their face and screamed and died. When they all were dead, the person that had just killed them turned and faced me. This person was that very same Montauk boy. He had the same expression that he had when he was sick with that cold. Upon seeing this, I thought that I was next. This is where the memory ends.

Obviously, I was incorrect in my assessment of the situation since I am alive to write this today. Whether these are true memories or not, I still feel the shock of them, especially the latter one. And, even if these prove false, it most likely means that I have been royally,  excuse the phrase,  fucked with.

Almost the kaleidescopic effect

A couple of days ago, I had a rather disturbing experience and an alter personality come to the surface.  I was in pre op being prepared for a surgical procedure to reconstruct my feet.  The smiling anesthesiologists were administering their chemical cocktail to put me out.  After a few seconds, I was unconscious.  Then, I woke up in hell or hat seemed like hell.  It is hard to describe what I was experiencing, but I will try.  I was extremely disoriented and I saw what looked like shattered glass shards with black and white objects in them that were moving around me rapidly.  It was like being inside a giant kaleidescope. It was sickening.  I was disoriented and frightened.  I said to whoever might be there (I couldn’t see them), “What did you give me?”.  I heard the anesthesiologist’s voice say “a psychotropic”.  That must’ve been some dose.  I didn’t like it at all and wouldn’t want to repeat the experience. I mercifully blacked out.

It wasn’t I who finally woke up, it was someone else. She asked “where am I?”  The woman there told her where she was and asked her if  she knew who she was. She told her that she didn’t know.  I/she looked like a young woman with short dark hair kind of like the girl in the movie “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” except the bangs were shorter and there were no piercings.  (I never saw the film).  She also thought that I was from Norway. She was also a Delta (assassin and such).  She even told her that she was from Norway.  Then, she was babbling  something foreign sounding, possibly Norwegian.  Then, she/I passed out and I woke up as myself.  I could remember this since part of me was conscious at the time.  I discussed the incident with the woman and she told me that I was given ketamine, a strong hallucinogen and that what she thought was I told her that I was from Norway.  She also told me that things like that often happen.  I told that she was lucky that she/I was still unable to get up because she could’ve hurt her.  She took it lightly since I had just come out of Anesthesia.

The first incident was reminiscent of Monarch, possibly Montauk mind control programming in which drugs, sensory overwhelm, mirrors (these looked shattered), and dualistic themes (the black and white) are used.  Also, refer to the post on black fractals.  There is an image there that has  something close looking.  I could’ve also seen some of the programming as it was or as it was being shattered thus bringing a sleeping alter to the surface.  Of this I am not quite sure.  Well, I wanted to know what might be in there.  Now I know to what extremes I would have to go to to find out.  I wouldn’t want to go through that ever again.

Alexander Duncan Cameron

What is the Montauk Project without the Montauk Boys?  The most known ones being Duncan Cameron and Stewart Swerdlow.  Also, George Dickson, whom I have already written about previously.  Also, a  lesser known Montauk boy named Michael Ash.  I have had interactions with all of them.

First I will write about Duncan.

How can I begin to enumerate the relation to each?  I don’t remember any of them, yet Duncan was the one who I most felt a familiarity with.  I have even experienced some paranormal type stuff with him.

At the first Montauk Night that I attended way back in 1993 in Farmingdale, NY, Duncan was in attendance along with Preston Nichols and others.  When I saw Duncan first enter the room, he looked many years younger than when I saw him in the videos.  His hair was a dark blonde and there were no lines or wrinkles in his face.  During the course of the evening, I watched him age several years in a couple of hours.  By the end of the evening, he looked exactly like he did in the videos.  He had grey hair and a craggy face.  Later, in 2010, at the Montauk symposium, I would get to view a video of Dr. David Anderson’s time chamber experiment.  In this time chamber was an Amaryllis flower which went from bud to blossom and back again in a few minutes.  According to a video and photographic expert that was in the audience that night, it wasn’t a time lapse video.  So, perhaps science shores me up on this.  I just got to observe this effect in the real world.

Another time, at another meeting, I witnessed him doing the reverse.  There was a couch in the room and he was lying down on it.  I saw him start out with the same grey hair and craggy face.  The lines in his face smoothed out and his grey hair turned back to dark blonde.  I was stunned by the sight of this as I was in the first incident.  This was a man who definitely was not stuck in any one time.

At another meeting, (I forget if it was a Montauk Night or a Psychotronics meeting),  someone mentioned about the Anti Christ experiments with Duncan (you have to read the books) and Duncan abruptly jumped (I think that the phrase for this was something like “turned inside out”).  I was on his right side and got the full brunt of the energy that he threw off.  I felt as if I was lacerated.  I mentioned it to him and he apologized.  I know that  it was not a conscious reaction on his part, though.  From that time on, I remembered to always sit  on his left side.

I have even seen him in the least expected places as well.  I was in bed when I was awakened by a vicious leg cramp.  I saw and heard Duncan, who was standing by the bedside.  He told me to flex my foot back and forth several times to relieve it.  I did as he told me and it worked.  Of course, Duncan was not there anymore.

In another incident, I was at work when I saw him at the far side of the building.  I was confused as to why he would be there.  As he started walking off, I walked after him to catch up and ask him why he was there, but he disappeared and was nowhere to be found.

I had a dream one night of a conversation I was having with Duncan which was about did I ever want to have children.  At the next Montauk Night, we had that same exact conversation.   It matched up word for word with the dream conversation.

I might have even remembered in one of my dreams one little incident at Montauk.  Yes, some memories can leak out in Dreamtime whether it is a memory of something that hasn’t happened yet, as in the above or it has happened or is happening. I am satisfied that this can be so.  Remember, we are supposed to living in a time loop.  We have supposedly been this way before.  The possible “memory” was when I was in my early teens.  I had just been brought into the project.  Duncan was there comforting and befriending me with little gifts.  I think I was crying. The room was sparse and there were large pipes running along the bottom of the wall.  I thought I’d mention it since it feels so significant to me still after all these years.

As to claims of Duncan’s brain damage from the project, well, I kind of believe it.  It actually took 4 separate times that I had to reintroduce myself  to him.  He has had trouble with his mid-term memory.  Eventually, after sending him a bit of help energetically (I do a bit of energy healing work) for quite a length of time, I noticed a change in him.  I only had to tell him once about something and he would remember it the next time I saw him.

Someone I knew back in the 90s told me he that when he lived on Long Island he was tormented by Duncan during the height of the Montauk Project.  It wasn’t in the physical, but more in the psychic realm.  He indicated extreme aversion to Duncan.

The guys (Preston,Peter?) used to joke that I was the female Duncan Cameron, though I am nowhere near psychic in the same way as Duncan , though I have been so in my own way.  And the running joke was “The Montauk Boy Gets the Montauk Girl”.  That one was Preston’s.

Well, short of digging into past journals which have been buried in other belongings through the years, to find anything else that I might remember, that will be so it for now.  I ask no one to believe what I have written for it is mainly anecdotal, but I stand by it.

Delta T Antenna

Originally, I was invited to go to a Montauk Night to speak.  I didn’t feel too cool about that, so I asked to just attend.  This was in early April 1993.  When I attempted  to drive from the other side of the Hudson river to Long Island a snow storm started and quickly turned to whiteout blizzard conditions.    I can say that I definitely did not make it to Long Island that night.

But, the second time I got an invite from Preston Nichols to visit him at his lab in East Islip, NY.  (It also turned out that Preston was the crazy Preston that I heard about from a friend of mine back in the mid ’80s from a mutual friend).  This time I made it to Long Island.  I stopped first at Peter Moon’s house since he was to bring me over to Preston’s.

We made it to Preston’s house with no problem.  I could tell which one was his since the Delta T (octahedral shaped) antenna was over a building in the back of the yard.   The area had an interesting energy to it.   When we entered the back building, I saw Preston talking to a couple of people.  While talking to them I noticed him looking over at me with curiosity.  After they left, he asked me if I wanted to take a tour of the place.  Of course I said yes.  It mainly consisted of the front room and the back room where he had old radio equipment especially the alleged Tesla designed radio used in the Montauk Project.  Well, the circuitry sure did looked like art to me since it was laid out in spiral patterns.  I even called it a museum to which he replied that that’s what he called it “The Museum”.

I got to view the first video he took out at Camp Hero and he even gave me a copy.  He asked me if I wanted to try out the “Montauk Boys” music.  I was curious so I said yes.  He pulled out a comfy chair which was directly under the Delta T antenna and asked me to sit down in it.  Peter was behind me and Preston was in front of me.  I sat down and waited.  I recall that the first song played was Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”.  The only thing that I felt was the urge to dance I told them.  But, after that other songs from classical to rock were played in succession.  At that second song, I found that I couldn’t move or open my eyes.  This was not a voluntary condition.  I started to feel scared as hell.  There was one point when the theme from Swan Lake (Boston Pops version) was playing.  My hands felt as if they were being electrified.  I could hear Preston excitedly tell Peter to look at my hands.  Also, during another song, I tried to get out of the chair, but could only flop back  helplessly in it.  Finally, the music ended and Preston and Peter helped to bring me back out of my trance state.   Preston then told me that pretty much that it seemed that I had the same programming (chair, LSD experiments, Camp Hero  cross point signature frequency, etc) as the Montauk boys.  He even called me a time traveler since he saw my hands fading out during Swan Lake which was used for time travel preparation.  The other indicator was that the sound system which was specially set up for this registered a feed back into it.  He was puzzled though since he claimed that he didn’t remember me.  (Yet, boy did he stare)

The possibility that the whole Montauk involvement was/is real made for a great deal of distress for me.  Also, being left hanging with an “Oh  and by the way, you’re most likely a programmed time traveling psychic drug tripping mind controlled operative type”  (not the exact words) still feels like it sucks rocks.  It feels weird and can play hell at any “normal” life.  So, any wannabes out there, don’t do or wish it.  You’ll be very sorry.  Well, at least I had some support at that time.  Thanks to my friends then.

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