Well, I know that I have been away from here for quite  a while.  I just was not too clear on what else I might have to say.  Well, now I have something to say, so here it is.

I have to think that Montauk is the gift that keeps on giving.  (That was a bit of snark, btw)

Just the other night when I was trying to get back to sleep, in those wee hours, I was thinking about something.  What it was I couldn’t tell you because when I was thinking those thoughts, they were erased mid thought despite my efforts to hang onto them.  It happened a couple of times.  I could swear that memories were trying to jog loose and be free in my conscious awareness.  There was something inside (or outside or both) of me that wouldn’t allow it.  I got the sense of a program of sorts that certain kinds of thoughts and memories will be deleted upon surfacing.  What I am left with is frustration.  And I have been working on clearing these programs and such.  No matter how much work I do on this, there are still deeper into the rabbit hole I go. Perhaps my error is that even though I think there is a bottom to this, there is no bottom to this.  And these things come to the surface at the most inopportune moments, usually in the restless wee hours of the night.

There was also another troubling incident that I had a while back.

A few months back, I was driving home from a friend’s house in Ocala, Fl.  The route I was taking goes through the Ocala National Forest.  I was consciously and deliberately looking for the sign that had the name of it on it.  Not only did I not see the sign, I missed the whole half hour or so of forest.  I just remember the parts of the road before it and after it.  And I thought that I was over any missing time episodes.  This one was major and I have no memory of what transpired in that lost half hour.

So, this all tells me that I still have some work to do.

 

 

Advertisements