Archive for August, 2012


Almost the kaleidescopic effect

A couple of days ago, I had a rather disturbing experience and an alter personality come to the surface.  I was in pre op being prepared for a surgical procedure to reconstruct my feet.  The smiling anesthesiologists were administering their chemical cocktail to put me out.  After a few seconds, I was unconscious.  Then, I woke up in hell or hat seemed like hell.  It is hard to describe what I was experiencing, but I will try.  I was extremely disoriented and I saw what looked like shattered glass shards with black and white objects in them that were moving around me rapidly.  It was like being inside a giant kaleidescope. It was sickening.  I was disoriented and frightened.  I said to whoever might be there (I couldn’t see them), “What did you give me?”.  I heard the anesthesiologist’s voice say “a psychotropic”.  That must’ve been some dose.  I didn’t like it at all and wouldn’t want to repeat the experience. I mercifully blacked out.

It wasn’t I who finally woke up, it was someone else. She asked “where am I?”  The woman there told her where she was and asked her if  she knew who she was. She told her that she didn’t know.  I/she looked like a young woman with short dark hair kind of like the girl in the movie “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” except the bangs were shorter and there were no piercings.  (I never saw the film).  She also thought that I was from Norway. She was also a Delta (assassin and such).  She even told her that she was from Norway.  Then, she was babbling  something foreign sounding, possibly Norwegian.  Then, she/I passed out and I woke up as myself.  I could remember this since part of me was conscious at the time.  I discussed the incident with the woman and she told me that I was given ketamine, a strong hallucinogen and that what she thought was I told her that I was from Norway.  She also told me that things like that often happen.  I told that she was lucky that she/I was still unable to get up because she could’ve hurt her.  She took it lightly since I had just come out of Anesthesia.

The first incident was reminiscent of Monarch, possibly Montauk mind control programming in which drugs, sensory overwhelm, mirrors (these looked shattered), and dualistic themes (the black and white) are used.  Also, refer to the post on black fractals.  There is an image there that has  something close looking.  I could’ve also seen some of the programming as it was or as it was being shattered thus bringing a sleeping alter to the surface.  Of this I am not quite sure.  Well, I wanted to know what might be in there.  Now I know to what extremes I would have to go to to find out.  I wouldn’t want to go through that ever again.

And I Lost. I will be posting very little over the next few weeks. I need time to convalesce. You see, I was in a bit of a car/trailer crash. The car is now officially DOA. I also have several injuries from it. My left foot and ankle got crushed under the dashboard and maby bones were broken. My right ankle has a fracture and my left forearm has a deep gash and the wrist is broken or sprained. I have several minor lacerations as well. So, for I am writing this to you in the hospital while I await my surgery. I will be back in 6 weeks or less. I will probably be quite a bit thinner since meds make me lose my appetite and barf. I am,however, getting help from famliy and friends that are in the area, for which I am grateful for. Write again soon.

Stewart Swerdlow

I will now write about another major Montauk Project player, Stewart Swerdlow or Stan Campbell as he was called in the Montauk books.  This one will be brief since no memories (I still am memory challenged) of him before 1990 are forthcoming, whether fortunately or unfortunately, but what happened might be of some interest.

Way back in the 1990s, Stewart was finally free (he had allegedly been wrongfully jailed in order to rein him in).  He got a place to live on Long Island at the timer.  It was on August 12th when Peter Moon and I met and picked up Stewart.  We were going to Amagansett (Stewart was speaking there) and Montauk .  One of the things that Peter was interested in doing was to search for gravestones with the name of Parsons in the local graveyard. In Amagansett, we met with a gal who got a ride with us to Montauk.  In our conversation with her we learned that Jack Parsons was an ancestor of hers (uncle or grand-uncle).  So, instead of a deceased Parsons, we had found the live equivalent.  But, I do digress.  We did go around the perimeter of  Camp Hero (there were still No Trespassing signs posted).  We didn’t stay too long.  Stewart and I seemed to hit it off, kinda, sorta.

In a later conversation with Peter, I learned that Stewart pretty much called me a Montauk Project wannabee.  That was a bit of a let down.  I also know that he was never deprogrammed, so who knows what he was playing at.  I have too many synchronicities to totally refute involvement.  I never wanted to be a part of something like this.  I would love for it to be a delusion on my part.

Not too long after this, I was attending a seminar in Connecticut and waiting to go to breakfast with fellow attendees in the lobby of the hotel.  Across from us I saw a man who was the exact image of Stewart.  He had the same face, facial hair, clothes, etc as he did.  I was going to speak to him when I noticed no recognition in his eyes.  So, I didn’t say anything since I started doubting myself.

Later, while we were at the table in the restaurant, I was being asked about the Montauk Project.  When I started to answer them, I had a strange feeling.  I looked to the table across from us and there was the Stewart look-alike.  He was sitting there and leaning towards us eavesdropping.  I stopped speaking right then.  It was uncomfortable.

Was this Stewart?  Was it him in an alter personality?  Was this some doppelgänger or clone?  And why would someone looking like him show up at an event that I was attending only to eavesdrop when I was talking about Montauk?  Too many questions.  I sure would like to know.

Alexander Duncan Cameron

What is the Montauk Project without the Montauk Boys?  The most known ones being Duncan Cameron and Stewart Swerdlow.  Also, George Dickson, whom I have already written about previously.  Also, a  lesser known Montauk boy named Michael Ash.  I have had interactions with all of them.

First I will write about Duncan.

How can I begin to enumerate the relation to each?  I don’t remember any of them, yet Duncan was the one who I most felt a familiarity with.  I have even experienced some paranormal type stuff with him.

At the first Montauk Night that I attended way back in 1993 in Farmingdale, NY, Duncan was in attendance along with Preston Nichols and others.  When I saw Duncan first enter the room, he looked many years younger than when I saw him in the videos.  His hair was a dark blonde and there were no lines or wrinkles in his face.  During the course of the evening, I watched him age several years in a couple of hours.  By the end of the evening, he looked exactly like he did in the videos.  He had grey hair and a craggy face.  Later, in 2010, at the Montauk symposium, I would get to view a video of Dr. David Anderson’s time chamber experiment.  In this time chamber was an Amaryllis flower which went from bud to blossom and back again in a few minutes.  According to a video and photographic expert that was in the audience that night, it wasn’t a time lapse video.  So, perhaps science shores me up on this.  I just got to observe this effect in the real world.

Another time, at another meeting, I witnessed him doing the reverse.  There was a couch in the room and he was lying down on it.  I saw him start out with the same grey hair and craggy face.  The lines in his face smoothed out and his grey hair turned back to dark blonde.  I was stunned by the sight of this as I was in the first incident.  This was a man who definitely was not stuck in any one time.

At another meeting, (I forget if it was a Montauk Night or a Psychotronics meeting),  someone mentioned about the Anti Christ experiments with Duncan (you have to read the books) and Duncan abruptly jumped (I think that the phrase for this was something like “turned inside out”).  I was on his right side and got the full brunt of the energy that he threw off.  I felt as if I was lacerated.  I mentioned it to him and he apologized.  I know that  it was not a conscious reaction on his part, though.  From that time on, I remembered to always sit  on his left side.

I have even seen him in the least expected places as well.  I was in bed when I was awakened by a vicious leg cramp.  I saw and heard Duncan, who was standing by the bedside.  He told me to flex my foot back and forth several times to relieve it.  I did as he told me and it worked.  Of course, Duncan was not there anymore.

In another incident, I was at work when I saw him at the far side of the building.  I was confused as to why he would be there.  As he started walking off, I walked after him to catch up and ask him why he was there, but he disappeared and was nowhere to be found.

I had a dream one night of a conversation I was having with Duncan which was about did I ever want to have children.  At the next Montauk Night, we had that same exact conversation.   It matched up word for word with the dream conversation.

I might have even remembered in one of my dreams one little incident at Montauk.  Yes, some memories can leak out in Dreamtime whether it is a memory of something that hasn’t happened yet, as in the above or it has happened or is happening. I am satisfied that this can be so.  Remember, we are supposed to living in a time loop.  We have supposedly been this way before.  The possible “memory” was when I was in my early teens.  I had just been brought into the project.  Duncan was there comforting and befriending me with little gifts.  I think I was crying. The room was sparse and there were large pipes running along the bottom of the wall.  I thought I’d mention it since it feels so significant to me still after all these years.

As to claims of Duncan’s brain damage from the project, well, I kind of believe it.  It actually took 4 separate times that I had to reintroduce myself  to him.  He has had trouble with his mid-term memory.  Eventually, after sending him a bit of help energetically (I do a bit of energy healing work) for quite a length of time, I noticed a change in him.  I only had to tell him once about something and he would remember it the next time I saw him.

Someone I knew back in the 90s told me he that when he lived on Long Island he was tormented by Duncan during the height of the Montauk Project.  It wasn’t in the physical, but more in the psychic realm.  He indicated extreme aversion to Duncan.

The guys (Preston,Peter?) used to joke that I was the female Duncan Cameron, though I am nowhere near psychic in the same way as Duncan , though I have been so in my own way.  And the running joke was “The Montauk Boy Gets the Montauk Girl”.  That one was Preston’s.

Well, short of digging into past journals which have been buried in other belongings through the years, to find anything else that I might remember, that will be so it for now.  I ask no one to believe what I have written for it is mainly anecdotal, but I stand by it.

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