I have had several experiences involving the dark hole black projects like the “Montauk Project”.  I have to overcome my confused lethargy in order to post even this.  I have, on occasion, have attempted to come out of the closet to not much avail.   So, finally the time had arrived to come clean, so to speak and I barely got to say half of what I wanted to say.  In the past I tended to tread carefully in this since this has activated some nasty punishment programs.  Also, since my memories are sporadic and not too linear, writing about this becomes problematic.  And when I attempt to write anything about this I start feeling scrambled and tired and writing more than a paragraph or two becomes difficult.  Also, the support system hs been spotty at best.

I first became aware of my role(s) in this project back in 1992/93.  One would think that I would have time to deprogram and recover more memories, but such is not the case.  One would also account for the reprogramming that is done to one during this time period as well.  For every bit of gain in some sort of therapy, there was also at least an equal loss.

I have to say that just doing the last interview was a bit freeing.  I now can tell more than ever since I do have the belief of all in or all out. I had contemplated coming out over the years but no time seemed right.  I actually didn’t want to be known mainly as “The Montauk Girl” and for mainly what was done to me and what I was used for instead of something that I contributed or created.  So, now I’m out and I’m still in one piece and the world didn’t end.  What next?  Well, more writing I’m thinking.  Here to start.  It is also my dearest hope that this will help others who were made to be involved find the will and a way to come out as well.

Advertisements