Archive for April, 2012

Irregular Posting

Sorry if my posting is irregular.  I do get rather busy from time to time.  Also, keeping concentration on a thread sometimes gets rather difficult.  But, I will make the promise that I will post.

So, what provoked me to contact the ones who were now publicizing The Montauk Project?  Why would I think that it was a possible explanation of many things anomalous and troubling in my life?  Well, it could be the many synchronicities that I remember experiencing.

So, what synchronicities would those be?  How about a list?

1) Psychic ablities were usually forced to develop in Montauk boys/girls for use by an alter for influencing/manipulating things and people, creating things, and destroying things and people.  In the past, I know I had the abilities to influence/manipulate others and things.  These would be telepathy and telekinesis.   I have good reason to believe that they were not meant for my waking self, but for one of the alters.  They just were a bleed through to my consciousness.  I have to say that I did things with my ability to influence others psychically that I’m not very proud of since I played people around me like puppets at times.  It just made me sick both physcially and emotionally.  As for the Telekinesis, it would go out of control and all sorts of things would get broken.  I even have some “memories” from Montauk in conjunction with this as well.  Also to be expanded upon in another post.

2) Those who ended up traveling in time in this project a lot of times would end up dimensionally unstable.  I have had several time and dimensional displacement experiences.  For starters, when I was in my teens loud music woke me up in the middle of the night.  It was coming from my brother’s room that was across the hall from my room.  I got up to ask him to turn it down.  Just before I knocked, the noise ceased and I only heard snoring from inside the room.  Seems like he was asleep the whole time.  Most likely the music was on earlier.  That was just one incident.  As for the dimensional part, that is too long for this post.  I’ll just have to leave you hanging until another time.

3) Bloodline family ties mainly in the Merovingian or Dragon (Pendragon) Scottish lineage are common.  I also was told that Aleister Crowley was related to this bloodline as well.  The physical traits of blue eyes and blond hair were preferred just like the Nazi ideal of the Übermensch.  Actually, there were quite a few that were not with those traits.  My ancestry is in that lineage as well as I have the blue-eyed and blonde haired thing going.  Also, my deceased grandfather on my mother’s side was a Nazi as well as his brothers were in the SS.

4) I grew up a couple of hours from Montauk when I was a child and young adult.  We had ready transportation at the time in the form of a plane that my parents had at a local airport.

5) Memories of torture.  Torture was the treatment of choice for personality splitting.

6) Involvement in the Civil Air Patrol at the time of the project.  The Civil Air Patrol is the civilian auxiliary of the Air Force and allegedly had some involvement regarding Montauk.

7) The Montauk Boys in my life.  All the usual blonde haired and blue-eyed kind with psychic abilities and/or the handler disposition.  One of them I remember being at Montauk.  This one also had a mentor/sponsor that had some possible involvement in Montauk.

8) UFO/Abduction experiences are common with Montauk survivors.  I have had a number of UFO/contact/possible abduction experiences.

9) DID resulting from the torture treatments ministered on and before the Montauk Project.  I have had several incidents of missing time and also alter switching.

One funny thing was back in the day (1970s, early 80s), I was obssessed with time theory.  I used  to write reams and reams on the more metaphyscial aspect of the nature of time.

These are just some “coincidental’ items that just prodded me into looking into my possible involvement with The Montauk Project.

The “Beginning”

Since I well know that my first interview was interfered with and just about unintelligible, I will recount some of what I said in it here.

So, where to begin? I guess at some sort of “beginning”. You see, to identify a definite beginning is difficult when it comes to something like The Montauk Project. But, I can only try.

Back in 1992/93, a friend of mine brought a certain book (The Montauk Project: Experiments in Time) and a video as well (The Underground Interview video). She strongly recommended that I read it and view the video. Well, I did read the book and at first thought that it was barely passable science fiction. I also thought that it might be true for those who say they were involved. So, I was on the fence regarding it.

Then I viewed the video. Or tried to view the video. I kept having the unfortunate reaction of getting sleepy and not being able to view all the way through. At the third attempt, when I was with a friend, I forced myself to stay awake. I finally was able to accomplish this while also becoming aware of a feeling of anger bordering on rage. I zeroed in on what might be the trigger for this and the sleepiness. I found out that I was reacting to Al Bieleck’s voice. I had no memory of him and wasn’t sure why I would have such a strong reaction to a stranger.

Well, I decided to take a look into my own past and see what might relate to this. What I found made me think that maybe there was more to this than I fist had thought. Being part of such a project would certainly explain quite a few anomalies and experiences in my life. Sort of like a unified field theory, but in a personal sense. So, I decided to contact the publisher Peter Moon and Preston Nichols in a letter. Very soon thereafter, I received a reply. It seems that I was the first person to write to them about this. I even spoke with Peter on the phone. He asked if I wanted to speak at the next Montauk night on Long Island. That I did turn down, but planned on attending it.

One night while I was lying in bed, a day or two later, I felt a presence in the room and “heard” a voice say something like “So, you want to remember what you did in Montauk? Well here it is!” I felt as if this presence invaded my mind and brought up rapidly shifting images of the Montauk underground. Some particular ones I remember is the Montauk chair as well as being carted through the hallways on a gurney. The images came so fast that I felt overloaded and like I was going to burst. Then the attack ended and I was exhausted. It was as if my mind had been shredded.

Perhaps it was to deter me from looking further into my possible involvement with the Montauk Project. Instead of being a deterrent, I found that it was a possible confirmation instead and that I had rattled someones cage enough to provoke an attack of this nature. So, I was more resolved than ever to investigate more.

Since this is a longish story, I will continue with more snippets as tine goes by.   This might disintegrate into gibberish if I write about this subject for too long.  So, your patience if you’re reading this is much appreciated.

I have had several experiences involving the dark hole black projects like the “Montauk Project”.  I have to overcome my confused lethargy in order to post even this.  I have, on occasion, have attempted to come out of the closet to not much avail.   So, finally the time had arrived to come clean, so to speak and I barely got to say half of what I wanted to say.  In the past I tended to tread carefully in this since this has activated some nasty punishment programs.  Also, since my memories are sporadic and not too linear, writing about this becomes problematic.  And when I attempt to write anything about this I start feeling scrambled and tired and writing more than a paragraph or two becomes difficult.  Also, the support system hs been spotty at best.

I first became aware of my role(s) in this project back in 1992/93.  One would think that I would have time to deprogram and recover more memories, but such is not the case.  One would also account for the reprogramming that is done to one during this time period as well.  For every bit of gain in some sort of therapy, there was also at least an equal loss.

I have to say that just doing the last interview was a bit freeing.  I now can tell more than ever since I do have the belief of all in or all out. I had contemplated coming out over the years but no time seemed right.  I actually didn’t want to be known mainly as “The Montauk Girl” and for mainly what was done to me and what I was used for instead of something that I contributed or created.  So, now I’m out and I’m still in one piece and the world didn’t end.  What next?  Well, more writing I’m thinking.  Here to start.  It is also my dearest hope that this will help others who were made to be involved find the will and a way to come out as well.

Tonight, I will be interviewed for the second time on Other World Radio about what this blog is titled about.  This is a continuation of one I did last year. There will be a brief recap as well as never before talked about information relating to the Montauk Project and beyond.  Here is the link to the show:

%d bloggers like this: